Every Minute Matters

Whilst I am riding along on the crest of the wave, with seven sea days to reach our next destination, I have much time to reflect, which is one of the reasons I chose to embark on my epic adventure. I feel I have lost my identity, my confidence and my motivation, amongst other things! As I sit to type this, I am looking out at the ocean which has an infinite expanse and if I may, I liken that to the blank canvass I have with infinite opportunities to order my life in the best way for me, so that I can then serve some worthwhile purpose for me and the many people whom I am so blessed to have in my life.

The first step is to truthfully consider who I am, my values and my strengths.

Who am I? Yes, of course, there is a song…these are just some of the lyrics; perhaps #spotify it for the full lyrics to see if it resonates with you!

“I am what I am and what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck, sometimes the ace, sometimes the deuces
It’s one life and there’s no return and no deposit
One life so it’s time to open up your closet
Life’s not worth a damn ’til you can shout out
I am what I am

I am, I am useful
I am, I am true
I am, I am worthy
I am as good as you

I am, I am good
I am, I am strong
I am, I am somebody
I am, I do belong”

So, initial thoughts:

The I am that I say so often: “Hi, my name is Nici and I am an alcoholic” but I am so much more and it does not define me! But it is a part of me and somehow I have over 13 years’ sobriety, though every day has it’s challenges and I aim not to be complacent and I am grateful.

I am a Mum; definitely the best part of me is my daughter and also now my darling grandson. They are my world and they give me the best reason to be here.

I am a runner; I love my sport and it has saved me so many times, for so many reasons! My running life is possibly the subject of a separate blog, but for now I simply reiterate that it keeps me physically and mentally well and always steers my life back on to the right track when I go astray, which is frequently.

I am crazy, mentally unstable, impatient, honest, generous, selfish, self-aware, music lover…the list goes on, but on a good day, stand-by as I might actually surprise you all and do something worthwhile!

For now, I am having a fabulous time on Queen Anne, spending time with friends, being entertained, training in a lovely gym, eating delicious food, exploring the world and finding me!

I am going to work out how I can add photos to my blogs and make them more exciting, but I will sign off for now and look forward to you joining me again soon!